The Flow Of Change

October 2024

I've been a little absent from here but it's not because I haven't had anything to think or write about. It's the exact opposite actually. I've had so many things going on that I haven't had a full moment to stop and write... at least not one when I've not been completely exhausted.

The last few weeks for me have been all about change: Embracing it, directing it, flowing with it, adjusting to it, and everything in between all those moments. I have been swimming through a flood of various emotions but I can honestly say that I've come out of all of this with a big smile on my face and an even bigger one in my heart.

I love change; Even when it's the really scary type, when it wasn't planned or necessarily wanted. However it's always good to remember that nothing can be different and nothing new can come in, without some of the old and sometimes comforting things, going away. It is a natural cycle but it's one that we don't always welcome with open arms.

Why? Because it can be awfully scary. The uncertainty. The not quite knowing if everything will be okay in the end. The whispers in your head (and sometimes from those around you) pestering you with questions and a series of "what if's". And because it is incredibly difficult sometimes, to just go with the flow and to trust that everything will work out.

I'm not saying to not prepare and plan for things, but there are times when there's only so much that we can do, before we just HAVE to let go and wait (patiently or impatiently) for the next things to come.

For me, my big change was that I left the corporate world and career that I knew well... top of the game type of well; and at one stage, something that I really loved and energised me. Re-read that last bit again too: "at one stage". I stopped loving what I was doing somewhere in the last few months of that career. It had been waning for a while but there were always some embers burning in the background... until it was finally snuffed out and I felt flat, lifeless and just, well, ugh. I know that it wasn't about just one or two events but rather a build-up of a series of little things that pushed me to my tipping point, draining all the enjoyment that once had right out of it. Then an opportunity came that allowed me to walk away from it all, so I did.

Just to keep things in perspective, please know that I didn't have a fat nest egg to fall back on. The income from my corporate job was what was paying all the bills, but I knew that my sanity, my mental health, and likely my physical health, was not worth pushing on for any longer.

So with a lot of uncertainty (and possibly a whole lot of crazy), I walked away from a healthy steady income and stoked the flames of my passion: Helping people. I poured more time and energy into my coaching business and then let go of the outcome, knowing that if for whatever reason, it didn't work out, there'd be something else that would come my way.

Now let me tell you that this was scarier than any horror movie I've ever seen, and I hate horror movies!

Walking away took a lot more strength and resilience than I thought I had, especially because, like most people, I find a lot of comfort in KNOWING what comes next; In KNOWING for certain that all my bills will keep being paid and that I won't fall behind; In KNOWING that I can keep putting food on the table, keep the roof over my head, and the clothes on my back - and not just for me, but all of that for my kids too.

And I can completely see how most people would rather hang on tightly to the certainty in their life, than trade it in for the new, even if the new means living a happier life, because there's no guarantee on how long the transition will be, how much effort it will take, and whether or not you'll hit rock bottom and likely scrape your backside on the rocks down there before you ascend (likely with lots of scrapes and bruises).

But everything is a learning and growth experience. Everything that we go through helps shape us and make us into the person for tomorrow's challenges and experiences.

I'm not out of the woods yet: I'm still tripping on debris on the forest floor as I choose this new path to walk on - one that I'm doing all by myself. I have no one but me to cheer me on and encourage me to keep going... except for that new little flame in my heart and soul, and the peace that's wrapped itself around me, making me feel really good about what I've said goodbye to and what I'm saying hello to.

I choose me. I choose peace. I choose to help myself and those around me. I choose to listen to my heart, soul and gut. I choose to only say yes to what feels right. I choose this new chapter. I choose the unknown.