Love Should Be Consistent

February 2024

I'm a rebel at heart. Tell me that I must do something and it ignites a fire inside me to do the exact opposite. Ask me to do something and I'll consider it - although the outcome will usually depend on how I've been asked and whether or not I feel like it (amongst other things). So when it comes to calendar events that I'm not aligned to, I make a point of asking why I need to conform. And given the month that we're in now, the event that's on my mind is Valentine's Day.

Regardless of my relationship status, I'm questioning why I need to succumb to the pressure of showing affection on this one particular day. Shouldn't it be an everyday thing? Isn't consistency, however small, better than a one-off big bang moment that's been dictate or pre-meditated? And if you're going to go with the traditional flower giving, specifically on V-day, the cynic in me is questioning if the price has been hiked up just for that "special" day. And why should I feel pressured to do something on a particular day if well, it's just not convenient? Then again, maybe I just don't like aiming for a date on the calendar that I'm just not "feeling". (I say that because I'm totally fine with celebrating Christmas and New Year.)

Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm just missing the feeling that's associated with it. I mean, at Christmas, it's about giving and celebrating family and friends. There's a whole bunch of decorating and little events that pepper the month before the big feast. Similarly, there's festivities associated with New Year's and there's a hype that goes with it. So am I supposed to turn up the love on the lead up to Valentine's day? Because I'm just not feeling it.

And let's not forget that V-day is smack bang in the middle of the week this year. That's a school day for the young lovers out there (and a school night if there were thoughts of going out to celebrate) and for the rest of us, a work day with meetings and deadlines. Not really conducive to dedicating the day to love.

But maybe that's it. Maybe a public holiday needs to be associated with these celebrations in order for everyone to really feel it. Almost like an incentive, if you will, to really look forward to it and allow us the time to plan and enjoy the day.

To each their own though right?

Personally, I'm boycotting the event. There won't be any flowers or cards purchased just for this one day, and no fancy dinner just because it's V-day. (And I'm not celebrating Galentine's day either.) No, I prefer to mark every day spent with those I love, with small signs of love and affection. I choose to spend time with them. I choose to listen to them. I choose to hold space for them, I choose to be available for them. I choose to show love in all the other ways that don't involve a card and flowers on just one day a year. I choose to show them my love for them, every single day of the year, I choose consistency.

What will you choose?

Side note: I totally understand that there are many of us who don't celebrate other calendar events or have a very difficult time when those events do come around. I think that it's up to each of us as to how we live our lives and what we choose to celebrate and how we choose to celebrate events. We all have different circumstances. You do you. And that is perfectly okay.