I know. It isn’t always easy. I’m currently sitting in a state of complete frustration on a particular situation. I feel like screaming “how much longer do I have to endure this?”. I’ve already done so much. I’ve already worked through so many wounds. I know what (and who) triggers me and why. I know that justice will come, but right now, it feels like I’m chasing the tail of a rainbow – forever running forward but never getting to the final destination.
But that’s the thing, isn’t it? I’m going forward. I’m not going backwards. I know what the end goal is and I’m working my way towards it, so I shouldn’t be discouraged.
It’s at times like this when we need to just stop, take a breath and have a look at how far we’ve come. Yes it’s taken years, in this particular situation for me, but I still remember dreaming, wishing and hoping to be exactly where I am now. And it is miles away from where I started. So I’m going to stop and just be grateful.
Sure, the timeline hasn’t gone exactly as planned, but I kinda knew that it never would. It wasn’t that I was expecting to encounter difficulties – I just knew what was involved and knew that this particular situation and journey, would never be easy, smooth or straight; And back at the start, I accepted that and chose to start anyway.
I know that I’ve been strong enough to get through everything that has come to pass so far and that I have the strength to keep on going. The end goal is too important to give up on.
I know that despite what it seems, many things are happening in parallel and that there are many other things that are linked to each other, be it directly or indirectly.
I also know that one day soon, I’ll stop and take a breath, and be grateful that I’ve completed that long journey and I’ll be very proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished.
For now, I need to trust that I am where I need to be; That feeling like I do is normal and human, and it’s okay. The feeling will pass, just as the current moment will. I’m going to focus on the now – what’s important to do now, to keep moving forward. I’m not going to worry about the “what ifs” because there’s no point.
It’ll all work out and I’ll be okay. I always am.