Why is it that the trying situations, the ones that test our character, are the ones that really show others (and ourselves) who we really are? Why does it have to take those extreme situations to enable our true nature and intentions to become clear and visible to all? Why can't we always just be our transparent selves? Is it because some of us are really rotten to the core? That showing our true selves would mean that no one would ever want to be near us? And why can't we see through the facade in everyday situations? Why does it have to take extreme situations to have all of this uncovered?
I've been asking myself all these questions lately, as my own frustration levels at numerous broken promises and uncovered lies, all start to surface. I've been asking myself why the other people involved, can't see what I can clearly see and why they're putting up with the obvious bullshit that they're presented with. Why don't they call it out? Why do they let it slide? Are people worried about what others would reveal about them, if they called out the bs?
I understand the reasoning behind being polite and not "rocking the boat", but does that mean that we have to tolerate utter rubbish? Why isn't speaking out okay? Why is telling the truth, not "always" appropriate, when it's clearly needed?
It's irritating me beyond belief.
You may be wondering what's brought on this rant and what's made me snap at this, and the trigger is simple: I've dealt with enough lies, hurtful words, insensitive people, and just utter rubbish, in the last few days, than I have in a long time. And it's only happened because an unfortunate (and unexpected) incident occured, that's thrown me amongst a flurry of "friends" of a close friend, who aren't really friends. And seeing them all act and speak the way they have, is simply infuriating.
They're disrespectful and completely self absorbed. They're all hell bent on telling everyone else how to live their lives without any consideration of anything else that's going on in that person's life. And worse still, they're all continuing to make promises of "being there" and then breaking them as soon as they're called on. But I can guarantee that each of them would be there if they were going to get something for nothing.
It angers me to the core that people as rotten and ugly as this, are around in this world. And I totally understand that you need the dark to appreciate the light, but I do wish that this kind of darkness didn't exist. It's incredibly ugly.
It doesn't take much to be a genuinely nice person. It doesn't take much to genuinely care and to actually want to help without expecting anything in return (except for maybe genuine gratitude). But I'm wondering if it's too hard for some people because they're so, well... rotten.
So what do we do with these people? Personally, I tend to limit my interactions with them and speak my mind (in the nicest possible yet very honest way) when I do have to be near them. I make it clear that I'd rather be elsewhere and do my best to stay away. And I also try to make those who are being manipulated and deceived by them, understand what's happening to them. But, you can't show someone something that they don't want to see. You can't teach someone something that they don't want to learn. And you can't fast-track those learnings when they need to learn them on their own timelines, however long they may need to be.
The only thing you can do is help them to see what's real. And then you need to take a step back.
Whether or not you choose to be there for that person when they crumble or hit a wall when their lesson is learnt, is totally up to you. Sometimes it's a good thing to NOT be there when their world falls apart, because maybe you always have been in the past and maybe they need to learn how to pick up the pieces on their own.
And maybe that's the lesson that I need to learn. For me, right now, after I've spoken my mind and said my peace, I need to walk away and leave it be. I've fought my battle and now it's time for me to step back and let others fight their own.
