Standing Tall & True

May 2020

I once had someone tell me that most people can’t handle them. That it takes a particular type of person to match their intensity and passion, and be able to react or respond accordingly. That person told me that most can’t rise up to the challenge, even though they initially think they can or they want to try. So to avoid disappointment and save time for both parties involved, this person told me that he just didn’t let them try. I didn’t quite get it, so I let it slide.

That same person told me that I’m not someone that everyone can handle. That most people would look at me and think they can take me on, but that they’d fall extremely short of the mark. That it would take a special someone to know how to handle me. I never really believed it because that made it sound like I was a difficult person to get along with, and I know that that’s not true. I’m pretty easy-going and whilst I have some boundaries and rules, I do like to just go with the flow and see where things go. (As an example, just ask my kids about the various places that we’ll end up, when we go for a drive, and I just drive and start taking turns and different roads, when I feel like it. We never know how long those drives will be or where we’ll end up, but we’ve always had heaps of fun both along the way and at wherever we end up.)

Then this week, I did a podcast interview where I was asked about what it would take for someone to love me. Well, that really made me stop and think and then I reflected back on what he said about me being someone most people can’t handle. And as I rambled on with an answer to the question and the podcast continued and we talked about various things, a few things started to click and fall into place.

I’m not a difficult person to love, but I have high standards and at this point in my life, whether we’re talking about a romantic relationship, a friendship, or a work relationship, I have certain pre-set standards and boundaries that I’m not about to adjust for anyone, and I don’t care what the other party thinks. I’m me and I’m so comfortable and confident in who I am now, that others will either need to accept it and work with it, or they’ll just need to step away.

Oddly enough, even the person who was interviewing me on the podcast said that I had a certain kind of energy and confidence that not a lot of others have and that it would indeed, take a certain type of person to match and “handle” me. I also know that it’s that same energy and confidence that lures people in. Goodness, that makes me sound like some kind of demon who tempts and lures others in, only to crush them later, but that’s not who I am at all and it’s not what I mean.

I’m just someone who’s been stepped on, trampled over and suppressed for so long and in so many different situations and relationships, that I’ve (finally) found my voice and my inner strength to stand tall, proud and strong. I’ve gone through my own version of absolute hell and I’ve come out so much stronger and better on the other side. I’ve discovered that it’s okay to be me. It’s okay to always show my true self, and to hell with what everyone else thinks. The opinion of others only matters if you let it, and seriously, it’s myself that I have to live with and that I can’t escape from, not them. It’s my life, my path, and my own reflection in the mirror that I need to be comfortable with. Everyone else? Well, like I said, they’ll find a way to either work with it or walk away. You can’t please everyone.

So what does it take to love someone like me? Someone who doesn’t NEED anyone to complete them? You need to be comfortable and confident with who you are. You can’t hide in the shadows or not be willing to face your own demons. You can’t be worried about the opinions of others. You need to know all of yourself and be able to stand tall, strong and proud, but not in an arrogant or egotistical way. You need to be a real alpha male to match this alpha chick. No games. No pretending. 110% genuine. 110% passion. 110% energy. Anything less isn’t going to work because anything less won’t be able to keep up.

So to that person who knows that most people can’t handle them. To that person who has the passion and energy to match mine and one-up me. To that person who can challenge me, inspire me and be a constant for me. To that person who checks off everything on my list of “perfect”. I’m going to wait for you. Why? Because the others can’t handle me. I see that now. I know that now. I understand it now. But you can handle me, can’t you? You can step up to the challenge just as much as I can step up to the challenge that is you.

Just goes to prove the point that everyone has a someone. It’s just a matter of time and circumstance. Stand true to you and the rest will fall into place.

And so I’ll wait.