A Perspective On Frustration

February 2021

Have you ever found yourself questioning where you are? Wondering why things haven’t unfolded the way that you’ve planned, even after you’ve done all the work? Or simply just wondering how much more patience you have to give to a situation, before the tables finally turn in your favour? It’s an overwhelming feeling and it can spiral into a state of hopelessness, because that’s what you start to feel. But I’m here to remind you that as hard as it is, focus on the good and trust that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

I know. It isn’t always easy. I’m currently sitting in a state of complete frustration on a particular situation. I feel like screaming “how much longer do I have to endure this?”. I’ve already done so much. I’ve already worked through so many wounds. I know what (and who) triggers me and why. I know that justice will come, but right now, it feels like I’m chasing the tail of a rainbow – forever running forward but never getting to the final destination.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? I’m going forward. I’m not going backwards. I know what the end goal is and I’m working my way towards it, so I shouldn’t be discouraged.

It’s at times like this when we need to just stop, take a breath and have a look at how far we’ve come. Yes it’s taken years, in this particular situation for me, but I still remember dreaming, wishing and hoping to be exactly where I am now. And it is miles away from where I started. So I’m going to stop and just be grateful.

Sure, the timeline hasn’t gone exactly as planned, but I kinda knew that it never would. It wasn’t that I was expecting to encounter difficulties – I just knew what was involved and knew that this particular situation and journey, would never be easy, smooth or straight; And back at the start, I accepted that and chose to start anyway.

I know that I’ve been strong enough to get through everything that has come to pass so far and that I have the strength to keep on going. The end goal is too important to give up on.

I know that despite what it seems, many things are happening in parallel and that there are many other things that are linked to each other, be it directly or indirectly.

I also know that one day soon, I’ll stop and take a breath, and be grateful that I’ve completed that long journey and I’ll be very proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished.

For now, I need to trust that I am where I need to be; That feeling like I do is normal and human, and it’s okay. The feeling will pass, just as the current moment will. I’m going to focus on the now – what’s important to do now, to keep moving forward. I’m not going to worry about the “what ifs” because there’s no point.

It’ll all work out and I’ll be okay. I always am.